First of all, no, I was not the one blogging right after childbirth! That was Rick and his iPhone. It sure did come in handy though, didn’t it? You all got to see the baby right after he was born. It’s crazy to think he was chilling inside me just before then. Still doesn’t seem real or possible – even after being through it all.
So, yes, now I am blogging from the hospital. We are here at Cedars until Saturday (tomorrow) morning. Lennon has been examined by his baby doctor and is clear to go home but I am required to stay through tomorrow. Standard protocol – but also probably good for me. Lots of recovery to do. Pushing an almost-9 pound child out of one’s body is not the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
As most of you know from checking in, they decided to induce me on Wednesday. It was sort of a decision we all made. There was no need to induce (I was borderline on amniotic fluids which can justify it) but also no need to wait much longer for him to be born. If we waited, most likely I’d have come to Dr. Jackson’s office on Friday only to end up in the exact same boat – being induced then. So I figured why put off the inevitable – and why go through two more painfully dull days of anticipation and discomfort? So we decided to go for it – while everyone is happy and healthy and available. Plus, the idea of being home for the weekend really sounded nice. I kept visualizing how nice this Sunday is going to be with me sitting at home, holding my son and watching football.
So they started the induction on Wednesday around 3:30 or so. First they gave me a drug that softens up my gal parts so that then they can do stuff to start the dilating. I reacted to that drug very well – and started contractions naturally on my own as soon as it kicked in. That was very promising.
We rode the contractions until 7:30 – the usual four hours they give you with that “ripening” drug – and then checked to see how I looked. While I was “ripe” I was not dilating – and that is what we needed to get jump-started next. So they decided to have me do a “foley balloon.” That part was, I think, perhaps the worst part of the whole experience. By then I had no drugs and was fine tolerating the discomfort and mild pressure of the starting contractions. The foley balloon was a whole different ballgame. Basically they stick an uninflated balloon inside attached to a long pull cord.. then they full it with water and tug on it every 30 minutes or so to force dilation to begin. This was to take me from 1 to 4 cm – at which point we would start on the pitocin inducing drugs and really get things rolling. Having that balloon done was horribly painful – and took about 15 minutes. The first one was too big – they had to do a second one. Thankfully Rick had gone home to feed the cats and get some things together. Jamie was keeping me company but I asked her to leave for this procedure as I knew it was probably not going to be pretty (or something I wanted to share). I am glad they both were away because I think it would have freaked Jamie out a lot to have seen the blood and the rest – and I think Rick would have been a little prematurely traumatized by what had to happen. As for me, the lesson I learned and that I would offer to anyone else is to definitely take some pain medication before they do that procedure. There’s no need to be tough and go through with it. In the end, if you’re going to be on pain meds anyway, just go ahead and jump on that train when they introduce this procedure into the plan.
Okay. So the balloon and contractions went on from around 9pm until 3 am. Somewhere around 11 or 12 they started me on pitocin at the very lowest level possible (1) and it really kick started my contractions. From around midnight I was having strong rolling contractions every 2-3 minutes – and that continued through the actual birth at 3pm. They actually took me off the pitocin by midnight too – and didn’t start it again until 7am because of how strongly/quickly/effectively my own body was doing that work for it.
The contractions by 12:30/1am went from bearable to completely crippling. At some point they just stopped me in my tracks and made me cry every time they came on (which, again, was every 2-3 minutes). That was pretty bad.. and so I decided to stop playing tough and start taking some drugs. I wanted to wait on the epidural until we got switching to the active labor/delivery room (which has windows and is larger and nicer) so I went for the in-between drug choice they offer. I forgot what it’s called (Rick will remember and I’ll have him update this with it sometime) but basically they give it to you via the IV and in about 2-3 minutes you feel it come over you like 3 strong shots of tequila. Needless to say, I loved that drug! It totally took the edge off – and made me relax and be silly again. (The picture of me in my glasses with the popsicle was taken on the second round of that funny drug – and I was just being completely giddy and ridiculous. Rick was cracking up at me!)
The catch with the funny drug is that it only lasts around 30 minutes and you can only take it once an hour and up to three times. So the first one was awesome.. but as it wore off, I was counting down in pain again until I could take it again. During the second one the nurse explained that I only get one more dose and that when we call for the epidural, it will take them 15-30 minutes to get to me and then 30 minutes for it to kick in. With that in mind, we planned on having me get the epidural (which requires a lot of uncomfortable positioning) while I was the the starting high of the last round of the funny drugs. That was a brilliant idea (highly recommended!) because even though it was uncomfortable getting the epidural, I wasn’t really in any pain. Phew!
So, yes, by around 3 or so we were on the epidural. The idea of it is really gross – and it sort of freaked me out to get it since so much is said about it to scare you away – but, I will absolutely testify that it is an MIRACLE drug. I took it and by 4 or so, I was completely numb in my legs.. and I couldn’t feel anything of the contractions anymore. Woo hoo! They also decided by then to move me down to the active labor room as we’d finished the Foley balloon and I was about 3-4 cm dilated. So my drugged up self got relocated to the fancy room 2 (with a killer view of the Hollywood sign and the hills) and as soon as we got settled, Rick and I happily fell asleep. From around 4:30 until 9am, we were out like lights. I was sort of in that weird semi-conscious sleep stage you get into when you’re on an airplane and not completely asleep – but that was good enough. Rick was happy and snoring on his sofa. Much needed rest – and only possible because of that epidural.
At around 9am, we decided to wakeup and get things moving. Made some calls, the pitocin was back on and at a higher dose to really get me dilated.. And the only thing standing between me and my baby was getting to 9-10cm dilated. By 9am I was at 4cm.. by 12 I was at 6.. My nurse left for lunch and told me that when she comes back, we’ll have the baby.. And sure enough, she was right. She came back around 1:30 and I was 9cm dilated and it was time.
Unfortunately something wacky happened with the epidural just before that started and my left side started to regain feeling and motion. It felt like all the drugs were going to my right side – I couldn’t feel anything over there at all – and couldn’t move my right leg if I had to for a million dollars. Was very weird. Also became painful because I was about to have to give birth with only half of my body numbed out. Scary! Fortunately they loaded me up on a last-minute super dose of drugs – and it tooks about 15 minutes to start working – and as soon as it did, I was pushing out the baby. (A very weird thing to do when you have control over one side of your body still – no pain, but control – and absolutely no feeling or control over the other side. I had to have a nurse hold that leg for me the whole time – and I kept worrying that they’d drop it and with me being so large a size now, it’d just snap off or break or something scary.)
The pushing, although not as painful because of the drugs, still sucked a lot. My stomach was killing me with pain and pressure, which I guess is not normal – and the people assisting kept pushing on it to help the baby move down. It was killing me. Plus the pushing is just not fun. They are coaching you and you’re doing it, but it’s not fun.. especially if you’re like me and you don’t like people telling you how to do things. They were all telling me how and what and when to do things.. and I really wanted to hear their advice but sort of “own it” my own way.. But that’s pretty impossible with so many other people “in control” of the situation besides yourself.
Oh yeah, and part of this fun is that it wasn’t just me and the nurse and the doctor.. It was me and the nurse and the doctor and two resident interns. One of them, a guy, was pretty cool and chill and just helped hold my other leg and counted out the pushes, but the gal was more involved and I think this was her first delivery. Rick tells me when we were just about to have him born and they all had to run and put on scrubs, she went to put on the hospital booties and slammed her foot straight through one.
So a few things happened in the actual delivery. First of all, about 30 minutes into it, they said my pushing was doing great and reported that the baby was turning. This is an important final step for a baby before he is born as he needs to be facing down/towards your back for birth. So we thought he’s settled into that direction – only to find out 20 minutes later that they were wrong and the turning they saw and encouraged was actually him turning around the wrong way – face up! That is a scary thing to hear when you’re a women in seriously active labor – especially after everything I’d been through. My water broke at almost midnight when those first serious contractions started and they typically only let you try for natural delivery for up to 24 hours after that – and if you haven’t achieved birth by then, you typically get filtered off for a c-section, which I really wanted to avoid (especially after all the inducing and everything else I’d been through). Now, here we were, at the end of labor and he’s facing the wrong way.. so they tell me I have to try to delivery on my side so that we can encourage him to turn around again. Ugh! What a pain – especially when you can’t feel anything on the side they want you to turn onto. Ridiculous – and frustrating.
But I guess they got him turned – and they kept making me push – and I kept thinking about how much I wanted this whole ugly situation over with. At first they told me that between pushing rounds, I should take a few minutes to re-center myself and regain strength. I tried to do that but every little thing happening around me pissed me off. Rick was trying to brush the hair off my face – a nurse tried to wipe my face down with a wet cloth – and the doctor kept talking about alternative-case-scenarios with the intern residents. I just wanted everyone to shut up or go away and disappear and stop distracting me from what I had to do. Apparently the lesson learned last night, which shouldn’t surprise anyone, is that I can be really nice and fun and sweet as pie – but then I pass a point and I just become an absolute b*tch. Very true. As long as you’re not in my way or stepping on my toes, I’m happy and fun with you… but once I’ve been pressed too far, just duck and take cover because I have zero tolerance.
Fortunately Rick, I think, has forgiven me for that. I think he’s happy I didn’t curse him out or swear against him for doing this to me. All I did was ask him, in a scary movie kind of voice, not to touch me. A few times. I think that’s pretty polite of me considering everything going on. 
In the end, we finally got Lennon out. When she finally told me the baby was crowning, I pushed as hard as I could to get him out. It took two pushing sessions and, boom, he was out. Well, at least his head was. Then the doctor stopped for a minute to talk to the resident interns and I could hear Lennon’s little voice for his first cry. Apparently Rick cried then too, at the site of his son’s head coming out and being born. I think at this time the scary-movie voice inside me barked out something like. “Can you just get the rest of him out please!?” I mean, really. I was tired and wanted to be done. No more delays!
Finally Lennon was out and I got to hold him for a quick second before they took him to wash and measure and do the rest. The first thing I said to him, and I said it a few times, was, “Thank you for coming out!” Hah. And, boy did I mean it!!
While they took him to be measured and Rick got to hold him and see him for the first time, I was in the final stages of hell. Baby tore me open when he was born so it took them about ten minutes to stitch all that up. (Sorry for the details, I know it’s gross.) Then there was an additional complication – which helps explain why I was in so much pain when they were pushing on my abdomen. Apparently the placenta had ruptured. A blood clot’s worth of it shot out when I first start the pushing stuff – and then when they went to get the actual placenta out, they had to fish around and make sure they didn’t miss anything. If they did, I believe some seriously bad infections and things could happen. However, after just shooting an 8lb 13 oz child out of me, the last thing I wanted was for them to be fishing around inside! It hurt really badly – and all I wanted was to be done and hold my baby.
It took them around 15-20 minutes to get that all done – and, of course, the resident interns were involved and being taught/questioned through out it all, which, I think, made it take even longer. Then they had to clean me out and push out all the ick inside me – which involved a lot of pushing on my abdomen. Next to the foley balloon, that part was probably also one of the worst parts. After everything I’d been through, I really just wanted to be cleaned up and left alone. I had no more tolerance for teaching or people messing with me. I just wanted to see my baby (which I was still having a hard time believing was real) and be in my post-partum room – where I’d be done and allowed to eat again.
By 6pm, we were finally done and in that hoped-for post-partum room. It took a long time to get Lennon cleaned up (he was away from us for a good hour and a half, which really frustrated me since I felt like I’d only barely seen him) and our delivery nurse had me ready to be moved down but then disappeared for an hour or so. Like I said, at some point I lose my patience.. and after everything I’d been through, my patience was gone. I just wanted to be done – next phase please!
Of course now, here I am, almost 6pm the day after and I am in much better spirits. We finally are a little rested (although I still feel pretty exhausted). Jamie and Dave and my friend from work, Beth, have all come to visit and meet Lennon. (Unfortunately Beth came while he was out being circumcised so she didn’t get to see him!) Lennon is pretty sleepy now, as can be expected from the first day – especially after the circumcision he had to go through. The lactation consultant came by and showed me how to use this wacky breast pump – which is one of the strangest contraptions ever (think medieval times torture devices). Now we’re just riding out the night and waiting to go home tomorrow. I’m so excited to be out of the hospital – back to a place where people don’t constantly check and poke and prod me. (I seriously hate those stupid blood pressure devices – they hurt after the 1,000th time!)
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post. It probably won’t be something more folks bother reading, but for anyone who is pregnant and wants a story to read, it’ll be good. Plus it feels like everyone offers some sort of “been-there, done-that” sort of advice on these things and so I feel I owe the world the same. My biggest advice – the thing I knew nothing about before but now would definitely share/warn – is to take the pain meds early – especially if they want to use a “foley balloon” on you. The pain meds are great – and there’s no real pride in going through the pain. You don’t win any awards – and I honestly don’t believe the baby knows or would hold a grudge. Especially if you’re having a boy! Let’s just be honest – he’ll never have to go through it.. So why not?
Okay. Off to hold my baby. He is a little fussy but we’ve come to learn that he will settle down in a second if he hears his mommy’s voice and I hold or touch him. And he’s starting to get the same reaction to Rick’s voice too. That part is probably the best miracle. Here’s someone who just came into this world and the thing that makes him calmest and happiest in it is you. I guess that’s the magic of parenthood.
